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半睡半醒間

發(fā)布時(shí)間： 2014-06-04 信息來源：本站 2674

    某天晚上我有些累就早早地上床準(zhǔn)備睡了，宿舍的其他姑娘們像往常一樣團(tuán)在一起看電視劇。一直對(duì)韓劇不太感冒的我對(duì)于她們因?yàn)閯∏槎l(fā)出來的吵鬧也無動(dòng)于衷，即使是在醞釀睡意時(shí)也無所謂。但是在相當(dāng)一段時(shí)間內(nèi)，至少是我認(rèn)為的很長(zhǎng)一段時(shí)間內(nèi)，我一直沉浸在一種半睡半醒的混沌的狀態(tài)中，而且并沒有類似于失眠的煩躁。
    忘了是什么時(shí)候回憶起來的，在我閉眼的一瞬間仿佛看到一位俄國的老奶奶，她矮矮的、胖胖的,年歲不小,但是爽氣的笑容如孩童一般，手臂上掛著一個(gè)籃子貌似里面有最濃香的咖啡豆。這是一個(gè)沒有色彩的畫面，老奶奶的動(dòng)作也如同黑白片中的人物，因?yàn)楫?dāng)時(shí)電影技術(shù)的局限而顯得笨拙僵硬。我很想說，這就是生活，無論怎樣發(fā)福、怎樣衰老,只要能擁有這樣的笑容，那么生活就是美好的，哪怕開心的只是一籃子咖啡豆。
    厚實(shí)的棉被依舊溫暖，我還是閉著眼睛努力讓自己的身體沉下去，沉到哪里都無所謂。我總是認(rèn)為支撐我的只有兩種狀態(tài)：一種是充沛的精力，這會(huì)讓我盡情做我想做的事；另一種則是雷打不動(dòng)的睡眠狀態(tài)。只有這樣我才覺得時(shí)間和生命沒有被浪費(fèi)，但是，蒙昧未開的混沌之態(tài)不就是生命的最初或者是生命的本真之態(tài)么？半睡半醒間的我也許就是在和當(dāng)初只是一個(gè)顆粒的我對(duì)話而已。曾聽見一個(gè)同學(xué)說起過：活的太明白本身就是一件煞風(fēng)景的事情，是啊，自以為活的明白的人，其實(shí)煞掉了自己生命中的好多風(fēng)景。
    慢慢地想起了今年春晚上連轉(zhuǎn)了四個(gè)小時(shí)的姑娘“小彩旗”，因?yàn)檫@小姑娘性格直率、舞姿優(yōu)美，所以我一直很喜歡她。開始本以為馮小剛導(dǎo)演是利用這姑娘的“特異功能”來搏個(gè)眼球而已，后來我才知道，這是春晚上時(shí)間最長(zhǎng)的節(jié)目，利用旋轉(zhuǎn)來表現(xiàn)四季的交替和時(shí)間的流動(dòng)。之后的一天，我在微博上看到了一位網(wǎng)友關(guān)于這個(gè)節(jié)目的解讀，才又引發(fā)出了我的種種思考，她認(rèn)為馮導(dǎo)想用這個(gè)節(jié)目告訴觀眾：所謂新年、所謂春晚的歌舞升平、所謂錦繡年華，其實(shí)都是過眼云煙，當(dāng)時(shí)間流到一定限度，這一切的一切都將煙消云散，并且不需要理由。馮導(dǎo)是不是真的這樣想已經(jīng)不重要了，至少對(duì)我來說是這樣的。這姹紫嫣紅都將付與這斷壁頹垣，任你如花美眷也抵不過這似水流年。對(duì)于個(gè)性積極的我來說，很難像林妹妹那樣產(chǎn)生某種傷感，但是我深深感受到了這種凄美。對(duì)于生命來說由生至死才是一個(gè)完整的過程，但是正如電影《入殮師》中的一句話：死亡并不是生命的結(jié)束，而是另一種生活的開始。因?yàn)橐粋€(gè)人的生命會(huì)由他的后代而延續(xù)下去，即便他沒有后代，那他在這世上的痕跡也會(huì)被他的友人銘記。我不知道生活是不是就是這樣不斷地消亡，然后再不斷地重建，有人會(huì)恐懼這樣的變化，但是我依稀記得《看見》中的一句話：真實(shí)，自有它的動(dòng)人之處。沒錯(cuò)！生活不是韓劇。
    如此如此，循環(huán)往復(fù)，時(shí)間在流，地球在轉(zhuǎn)。無論人們?nèi)绾蔚穆耦^苦干，他們總不會(huì)忘記抬頭望一望天，藍(lán)天依舊，白云也依然純潔。藍(lán)白色的純凈從未改變，它自然也不需要改變，因?yàn)槲覀儚奈赐涍^從這樣的色彩中獲得安慰的感覺。我的幻想進(jìn)入了尾聲，姑娘們的吵鬧聲依舊，就像藍(lán)天一樣女孩子的天性不需要改變。
    謝謝生活，賜予我這重金難買的歡樂，雖然你們吵得我睡不著。
                        (作者系人文系12對(duì)外漢語班)

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[ SQL ] SELECT * FROM `my_catelog` WHERE ( isshow=1 and pid=143 ) ORDER BY `ord` ASC,`id` ASC [ RunTime:0.000384s ]
[ SQL ] SELECT * FROM `my_catelog` WHERE ( isshow=1 and pid=144 ) ORDER BY `ord` ASC,`id` ASC [ RunTime:0.000379s ]
[ SQL ] SELECT * FROM `my_catelog` WHERE ( isshow=1 and pid=145 ) ORDER BY `ord` ASC,`id` ASC [ RunTime:0.000501s ]